My tech guy phoned today from Seattle to say that my readers can now interact with me and all the other readers on my site, by posting their comments.  Whoo-hoo!  Let the fun begin! 

Thanks for being patient through the process, and if you hit a glitch, please email us to let us know at contact@denisemira.com and we’ll get back to you asap.  Have a wonderful weekend!

As the week winds down, my fridge is usually filled with odds and ends, bits and pieces and the makings for all sorts of tasty tidbits.  I am also ready for a break and really don’t want to decide ‘what to make for dinner’.  This little exercise will test your kids’ creativity and maturity, and they better pass the test or they’ll go hungry!  If you take inventory and can honestly say that any intelligent human being can create something relatively nutritious from the ingredients your cupboards and refrigerator/freezer contain…then proclaim it an “Every Man For Himself Dinner Night”.

A FEW TIPS FOR SUCCESS: 

• Scribble a list of what you see that can be created from what you have on hand.
• Give a specific older child responsibility to prepare something for a specific younger sibling (never assume :).)
• Give everyone a time limit and nutritional boundaries, ie., fruit roll-ups are off-limits and popcorn or French bread with butter does not qualify as a meal (at least make a fruit smoothie and a peanut butter sandwich on wheat bread to go with the popcorn), and, the meal will be eaten and cleaned up by 7 p.m. or you don’t eat.  (otherwise they’ll put if off because they’ll get lazy and be hungry at 9:30!)
• Each child is responsible to clean up the details of their own preparation and meal mess.
• Assign each older, capable child a final task such as sweeping kitchen, cleaning surfaces, scrubbing sink….so you can walk into a ‘clean as a whistle’ kitchen later.
• DO prepare something for hubby because he’s your man and you love him and want to serve him and he worked hard all day, too!  Unless of course he offers to take you out, then - whoo-hoo - it’s party time!  Or perhaps a really good-cook-of-a-child would serve Pops well, then by all means, ‘assign’ Daddy’s meal to that kid!
• DISAPPEAR…to your room, to the patio, or to the yard to read, to write a letter or to make a phone call to a friend for a nice catch-up-chat.
• THEN….when ‘time’s up’:
• Interview the brood and find out what they prepared for themselves and their younger siblings.  Admonish the brutes who starved the little ones and bless those who who took the charge seriously and did their best, even if it wasn’t your best.
• Check the chores to make sure they were done.

BUT DENISE….

Perhaps you’d say, “Doesn’t sound like much of a ‘Vacation’ to me.”  But I’d say, “if you train ‘em right once, you’ll have bought yourself many more pleasant ‘Every Man For Himself Dinner Nights’  to come in the future!”

*This is a Mini-Vacation with lots of bang for your buck:  A fair amount of emotional investment ONE TIME ONLY; after that, they’ll be a breeze!

I think you’ll agree that one extremely pleasant and often hilarious slice of time can be spent browsing the greeting card section of a well-stocked stationery shop, grocery store or discount ‘department store’.   If I know I’ve got 30 precious minutes alone, time stands still for me as I peruse the copious amounts of paper cards available to buy.  A hidden camera would find me, all by myself, throwing my head back and cackling uproariously one moment, then suddenly, two steps to the right, furrowing my brow with compassion…..and finally, ooohhhing and aaahhhing with appreciation across the aisle.  The huge variety to choose from makes the hunt especially fun.  I love cards! 

Perhaps it’s because, although abundant,  they’re really quite rare.  It seems as if the extent of our communication has become more like sound-bites.  A text here, an email there.  Or, we play all day, the most common adult game:  phone tag.  I leave a voicemail for you, you leave one for me, vice versa and business gets done.  Hmmm.  I think we all mourn, to some degree, the lost art of letter-writing.  What a serendipity in our day, to go to the mailbox and actually find something more meaningful than food coupons and advertisements, along with our predictable bills.

So…after I’ve chosen a few perfectly delightful cards, I find it to be such therapy to sit down at a table, on a park bench, my patio or simply on a grass lawn and write a few lines to someone who’s been on my heart.  Some good reasons to write a great card:

Someone has blessed you in a practical way.

Someone has enriched you in a spiritual way.

Someone has taken a special interest in your children.

Someone needs encouragement during a bleak season they’re experiencing.

Someone had a real impact in your life, and you never really told them!

Someone really blew it and they need to know they’re loved.

Someone went the extra mile and they deserve to be honored.

*Very affordable mini-vacation/pricier if you tuck a $20.00 bill inside the card to upgrade the greeting!

  One luxury that I especially enjoy is a professional pedicure*. I bring my Ipod/Bible/favorite book I’m reading (o.k., trying to read!) and schedule an appointment. Sometimes it’s spur-of-the-moment (they’ll always be happy to ‘fit you in’) and sometimes it’s pre-meditated and well-planned. Whatever the case, there’s nothing like dragging these tired, cloven hooves, rough with callused heels and complete with overgrowth, to the salon. I can usually find a pedicure in any city for about $20.00 (plus tip if they do a good job). I especially love the chairs with electronic massage – just the chair is worth the price of the pedicure! However, I’ve found a favorite, more-than-pleasant shop nearby, where the massage chairs are in working order and the décor is a step above the rest, all for a bargain price. I concentrate on r-e-l-a-x-i-n-g during the 45 minutes or so, and I drink in the moment as I re-charge my batteries. It feels good to slide my freshly scrubbed, buffed, pampered, smoothened feet into my sandals.

 My hubby enjoys seeing my colorful toes peeking out through my flip-flops. Why not?   I’m his babe forever….

*moderately priced mini-vacation/a bit pricier if you stop on the way for a special something to sip while you’re being spoiled!

more mini-vacations tomorrow….

As a woman intent on serving the Lord, most of my waking hours are spent serving others, as, I believe, I’m called to do.  I’m not trying to sound like a martyr, or to impress you with my super self-righteous attitude…seriously!  This is simply a fact of life, living as a Kingdom gal.  The spirit of our age can subtly try to creep into our psyche and cause us to imagine such lofty, vain ideas as:

• *When’s someone gonna serve me?
• *Why doesn’t my husband cook/clean/(fill in the blank) for us, like all good new-age guys?
• *Kids are spelled W.O.R.K. and I need a nanny!
• *I wish_________________.
• *If only____________________________.
• *Why didn’t I__________________________?????

We’ve got to embrace a different mind-set than the one the world embraces.  I happen to experience unique and profound joy while chopping, simmering and serving meals for the fam, cleaning out the fridge, completing 4 loads of laundry, listening to my son read his Constitutional Law out loud to me, and, after picking up/organizing and tossing stuff…surveying a relatively tidy house.  Although many would declare these tasks to be dull, mundane and endless (not to mention, lifeless); on most days, I truly find the joy in every little thing my hand finds to do, as I do it unto the Lord.  Sure, I’m extremely human and I experience great frustration at times, coupled with impatience and a dose of angst…but the pattern of my life, by God’s grace, is to posture myself toward Him 24/7. 

I gotta say, though, there are times when I squirrel away some cash and buy myself a little R and R.  I call these ‘mini-vacations’.  Some take 10 minutes, 30 minutes or several hours, but they all serve to re-fill my energy tank and allow me to exhale, for even a very brief period of time.  I don’t consider these my absolute rights, but precious privileges and simple pleasures.  In my opinion, women in our culture can be so spoiled, demanding and high-maintenance.  They forget how blessed they are to be able to enjoy the little things.  I’m going to list a few of my favorites over the next few days. 

Coffee, tea, with me….

myself and I (and a friend if you want).  For me, popping into one of my favorite coffee shops*, even if I’m on the go, is a real treat.  Although I brew my own daily, there’s nothing like an extravagant espresso drink, iced or hot.  You might be a Chai, green tea or chamomile girl.  Whatever you enjoy sipping while sitting-novel thought - actually SIT….ALONE…and THINK while you savor the flavor of your favorite drink that someone else makes for you just the way you like it.  Who-hoo!  Party time!  If I have time to sit and read/study/pray/browse a magazine, I pop in my earplugs to block out the chatter, noise and clatter echoing off the walls of most cafes these days.  Some of the music they play at 7 a.m. is almost criminal.  Yes, sneaking out of the house very early - some cafes open at 4:30 a.m. where I live - is a great strategy for alone-time.  Maybe you missed this part - this is my # tip of the month or maybe even YEAR:  I never leave the house without a pair of foam earplugs-they are priceless for use while sitting in doctor’s offices, on airplanes, and any other public place.  Buy them in bulk at any drugstore and tuck a pair in your purse, diaper bag and car. 

*Very affordable mini-vacation.

More mini-vacations tomorrow…..

I’m determined to chat with my kids.  It takes an effort when we’re all pretty high-energy, easily distracted by life and stimulated by our surroundings - but I can’t bear to simply be ’ships passing in the night’ 24/7, which can easily happen in our chaotic culture. I wanna talk.  If I want them to talk, then I have to ask them something pertaining to what they like to talk about.

Mom:  “What is your absolute number one favorite meal?”

Seth: (without batting an eye)  “Garlic mashed potatoes with fresh Brussels sprouts and green beans cooked with a little bacon and New York steak marinated and grilled to perfection, a little red in the middle.”

Other questions:

• “What was the highlight of your day?”
• “What’s your dream job?”
• “What’s your favorite sport to watch?  Play?”
• “Tell me about a person you love to hang with.”

Setting….

Where do you get a conversation going?  Sometimes you gotta get them alone, or at least next to you, getting their attention, to get them to talk.  Even when it’s difficult.  Let’s say they’re feeling like ‘hermit-ing” which you are not willing to allow them to do regularly.  Some teens would prefer this habit and some personalities could live in an 8 X 5 foot room, curtains drawn, for a lifetime, I’m convinced!  If their bent is to be alone, then it’s time for an ‘intervention’. 

Mom:  “Jack, come to the kitchen and help me cook dinner.”

Jack:  (grumbling, huffing, puffing, groaning) “Aw, maaa…I wanna read my new book (which he already read 4 times this month).”

Mom:  “Be down here in 60 seconds or I’ll starve ya.”

Jack:  (visibly distraught, long-faced and dragging his feet, he pops into the room).

Mom:  “OK, you chop the tomatoes, tiny please and then grate this block of cheese.  I’ll get your brother to clean the cilantro and crack the eggs.  When that’s done, I’ll tell you what’s next.”

What I find is that while we’re working away in the kitchen, Jack is trapped and he forgets he’s ‘miserable’ and pretty soon, a somewhat tense moment turns into laughter, discussion, dreaming together and forming our godly worldview through all sorts of verbal exchanges.  Some of our happiest and most meaningful moments have been around one of my salsa-making schemes, a smoothie-making moment, pancake prep, or during the pre-barbecue preparations on Friday afternoon.  I love to get my boys in the kitchen: slicing, dicing, chopping, frying, shaking, measuring and creating something really tasty to eat while I get inside their minds and hearts.  Not only will you ‘find’ one another, you’ll cut your work time in at least half by engaging the help of your youngsters.

Let’s remember to STOP and CONNECT with these precious ones we care so much about.

Today I was walking merrily along a concrete path. I love  to walk outside, listening to my Ipod.  I’ve downloaded portions of the Bible, and can listen, pause and pray, listen some more, pause and pray and have a really good time with Jesus while I get some much-needed exercise, fresh air, solitude, and sunshine (when it’s available).  Technology is amazing.  Then, when I’m ready to shift into another gear, I find some great worship music, push play and go absolutely crazy, running like a loon down sidewalks, across fields, leaping, dancing and getting the victory!!!  You really should try it, if you haven’t.  It’s such a comprehensive spiritual and physical workout.  Today as I meandered about at a decent pace toward the end of my walk, I found myself studying the beautiful flowers along the edges of the sculpted trail.  Lots of green, glossy leaves framed the full, lush blossoms of God’s gorgeous roses.  This one reminded me of someone in the prime of life - in their very best and most beautiful season.  Strong, hearty, ripe, and fragrant.  So much to give.  

Then I came across this one.  A brand-new, healthy and ready-to-burst-into-full-bloom red rose.  Looks like she won the genetic lottery.  Florists would prize this baby.  Lovers send them regularly.  This bud is full of promise.  An entire future ahead just waiting to be realized.  I can almost smell the fragrance to come….

Suddenly I came upon this tired soul.  All the best of its strength used up in days gone by.  Beaten by the winds, bludgeoned by life’s hard hits.  No one will stop to smell this fellow anymore.  About all that’s left are memories of what once was…

Which of these best describes you?  Are you a new bud, with the bulk of your life ahead-all of life’s most important choices yet to be made-great promise just waiting to unfold?…Or are you in your absolute prime, with all of your best attributes shining already?…Soon, yes, sooner than you know, you will have spent the bulk of your life, and if so, will you be glad about how you spent it and what you spent it on?  I’ve been spending a good amount of time in the book of James lately.  Perhaps that’s why these flowers were speaking so loudly to me today…

“What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”  James 4:14

“For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed.  In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business…” James 1:11

Let’s spend our days wisely.  This little rhyme is in my head…

“Just one life, twill soon be past; only what’s done for Christ will last.”

Oh, how the days go by.  I keep hearing in my spirit, “be vigilant!”  Don’t be found ’sleeping on your watch’ in the prime of your children’s growing up years.

We must be VIGILANT.  Websters defines this as:  Staying watchful and alert to danger or trouble.  I can imagine this is the attitude of our men and women in Iraq, fighting for their lives and ours.  Never casual about their responsibility.  I see my job as a mother quite the same…fighting for their lives and ours in such a wicked and depraved culture.

We must be like watchdogs at the gate of our households’ hearts, lives, diets, media and entertainment, education, internet use, choice of friends, and free time.  We get one shot at living this season with our precious youngsters.

Coulda’ been something real little…might have been something real big, but you are feeling the heat. Beating yourself with the mental bat. Up in the middle of the night, rewinding the tapes so you can ‘fix’ it and re-do it, at least mentally. Say different words. Don’t say ANYthing. Drive a different route. Cancel the appointment. Don’t press ‘send’ on the computer button. Don’t buy a computer! Pretty soon, this becomes a mountain that insures more defeat.

Stop it.

You gotta put down the bat and tell yourself the truth:

You love God.

God loves YOU and is for you and ready to help you, NOW.

You’re doing your best to serve Him and to fulfill His purposes for your life, your family’s lives and those in your sphere of influence.

He who never takes a swing, will never hit a homerun.

Most people are going through the motions, but you’re trying to ‘up the ante’ and really make a difference. Of course you’ll encounter setbacks.

This will keep you humble, which is vital for future success.

This will be a turning point, a defining moment and you’ll never be the same.

This pothole will provide encouragement for others when they fall down.

Soberly evaluate just how big a deal it is and how far-reaching the consequences are.

Will Oprah televise your failure to millions of people anytime soon?

Don’t forget - In God, there is always hope. He specializes in messes and He can redeem it.

Today is a new day, with new possibilities. 

Receive God’s grace!

So, your husband isn’t all you dreamed of, and come to think of it, he’s a real disappointment at the moment…the kids aren’t ‘responding well’ (to put it lightly) to the standards you’re trying to implement; in actual fact it seems that conflict abounds…the bank account is nothing short of lame, and you quit your job to be busy at home…you have been busy gaining 5 pounds even though you’re trying hard to eat right…the neighbors you’re trying to evangelize just aren’t ‘getting it’…where’s the beef, Lord????  You feel like giving up, or at least giving in…

“Be patient then brothers, until the Lord’s coming.  See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains.  You, too, be patient and stand firm, because THE LORD’S COMING IS NEAR!” (James 5:7-8)

Even in a ‘lull’ when nothing seems to be as you would like it to be…

GOD IS AT WORK BEHIND THE SCENES!

He is working on something valuable; something worth waiting for.

The farmer can’t see the seed growing under the dirt.  He can’t see the rain that will surely be coming from heaven -  YET.  He can walk around the field every single day, stomping his foot and grumbling, wishing to see the little green plants pushing up through the soil, but his fruitless activity won’t speed things up.  If he believes his eyes, then all his labor has been in vain and he has nothing to look forward to.  BUT A FARMER KNOWS BETTER.  He is convinced of what’s going on under the surface of things.  He sees beyond the natural and is aware of the organic life of God bubbling beneath the top layer of dirt.  He knows he will reap precisely what he has sown, if he continues doing the right stuff.  All in good time with some nurture, some water, some fertilizer and a whole lot of patience…he’s gonna get far more than what he planted.

Keep sowing, keep praying, keep believing, keep hoping, keep standing firm on the promises of God’s Word as they apply to your situation, because THE LORD’S COMING IS NEAR!