I’m determined to chat with my kids.  It takes an effort when we’re all pretty high-energy, easily distracted by life and stimulated by our surroundings - but I can’t bear to simply be ’ships passing in the night’ 24/7, which can easily happen in our chaotic culture. I wanna talk.  If I want them to talk, then I have to ask them something pertaining to what they like to talk about.

Mom:  “What is your absolute number one favorite meal?”

Seth: (without batting an eye)  “Garlic mashed potatoes with fresh Brussels sprouts and green beans cooked with a little bacon and New York steak marinated and grilled to perfection, a little red in the middle.”

Other questions:

• “What was the highlight of your day?”
• “What’s your dream job?”
• “What’s your favorite sport to watch?  Play?”
• “Tell me about a person you love to hang with.”

Setting….

Where do you get a conversation going?  Sometimes you gotta get them alone, or at least next to you, getting their attention, to get them to talk.  Even when it’s difficult.  Let’s say they’re feeling like ‘hermit-ing” which you are not willing to allow them to do regularly.  Some teens would prefer this habit and some personalities could live in an 8 X 5 foot room, curtains drawn, for a lifetime, I’m convinced!  If their bent is to be alone, then it’s time for an ‘intervention’. 

Mom:  “Jack, come to the kitchen and help me cook dinner.”

Jack:  (grumbling, huffing, puffing, groaning) “Aw, maaa…I wanna read my new book (which he already read 4 times this month).”

Mom:  “Be down here in 60 seconds or I’ll starve ya.”

Jack:  (visibly distraught, long-faced and dragging his feet, he pops into the room).

Mom:  “OK, you chop the tomatoes, tiny please and then grate this block of cheese.  I’ll get your brother to clean the cilantro and crack the eggs.  When that’s done, I’ll tell you what’s next.”

What I find is that while we’re working away in the kitchen, Jack is trapped and he forgets he’s ‘miserable’ and pretty soon, a somewhat tense moment turns into laughter, discussion, dreaming together and forming our godly worldview through all sorts of verbal exchanges.  Some of our happiest and most meaningful moments have been around one of my salsa-making schemes, a smoothie-making moment, pancake prep, or during the pre-barbecue preparations on Friday afternoon.  I love to get my boys in the kitchen: slicing, dicing, chopping, frying, shaking, measuring and creating something really tasty to eat while I get inside their minds and hearts.  Not only will you ‘find’ one another, you’ll cut your work time in at least half by engaging the help of your youngsters.

Let’s remember to STOP and CONNECT with these precious ones we care so much about.

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 24th, 2008 at 4:15 am and is filed under Home'sCool: homeschool helps, Mom's Home: domesticity, No Ordinary Child, No Ornery Child! solutions to parenting predicaments, Parenting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.