Help Amanda and ENTER TO WIN!
I FOUND THIS IN MY INBOX RECENTLY AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE GREAT IF YOU - MY BLOG READERS AND FRIENDS, BOTH HOME SCHOOLERS AND NOT, COULD HELP ME TO ANSWER AMANDA’S HEARTFELT INQUIRY(FYI Amanda okayed me sharing this with you):
Hey Denise
I have been thinking about homeschooling for about a year now (it is my second choice as the Christian private schools are just unaffordable for a one income family) and I was wondering if you could give me the hard facts about successful homeschooling. No flower please. My husband doesn’t think I can do it because of my temperament and is convinced that homeschooling is what causes premature socialization. (he is comparing 4 homeschooling families and they are all, in fact, socially immature for their ages)
Can you give me some insight?
Thanks Amanda
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BIG MAY CELEBRATION!
May 4th, 2008 at 8:02 am
My only homeschooling experience so far is that of an observer. But I wanted to share that I have noticed in homeschool kids that I have watched over the years both what Amanda describes as being socially immature among other things (like being bad spellers too). However, I have also seen homeschool kids who, for example, know more about US history than a History major in college or who are just as socially mature as their parents (no joke). It seems to me to be totally dependent on what the parent considers to be an important thing to emphasize. If you, Amanda, consider being socially mature a very important thing (which it is!) then I highly doubt your kids will have this problem. I guess I just don’t buy the thinking that sending kids to an institution for their schooling will automatically produce social beings. It may take some extra effort to get the kids around other kids their age in order for them to “practice” interacting but it seems to me to be well worth the effort. Now I am wondering if I am just seeing the issue through rose colored glasses? I’m curious to see what people post who actually know what they are talking about….
May 4th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Amanda- I am anxious to hear what homeschool mom’s say about this too!
). It’s the first time I have been around a positive homeschool environment and it gives me great hope that it can be done well.
My young family isnt to the age for school yet, but homeschooling is already a conversation in our house. For years I leaned more on the side of where your husband is coming from and didn’t believe homeschooling was a real option, but since moving to a new town where the public schools are horrible, I have met TONS of amazing families that homeschool with great success (and have totally socially normal kids! It is possible!
May 5th, 2008 at 8:27 am
Temperment. Yeah, I have that too. I just had a discussion with my husband about that in my life. I have 4 boys ranging from 6yo to 11yo. I have been homeschooling from 2nd semester kindergarten for my 11yo, so 5 years now! Wow. Many times I have thought about sending them to school because of my heart, but the Lord has told me that home schooling is needed for my children.
Socialization is always an issue, on the part of others looking in. I can say that my children do not have a problem with socialization. I have to tell them to often to not ask people so many questions. They love to talk and are very inquisitive. It all has to do with the parents way of teaching them. Do you spend time talking to them on an adult level. My husband and I have always said that we are not raising children-We are raising adults. From the very beginning we have talked to them with adult words not baby words. We sit at the table after dinner and read and talk about any issues that have come up. They have the freedome to talk to us about anything that they want to. And if they want we will go to a separate room. We have made our home open to talk about what is on their mind. Questions are wonderful.
Are my children perfect? No. But whose are? They are definately boys. They wrestle daily during school subjects. They get into trouble. They do boys things.
I love homeschooling because I can train them in the ways of the Lord. I can see the talents the Lord has given them and excite them about it. We can pray during school and see how God has answered them.
Now to curriculum. Prayer is greatly needed here. There is so much that you can get overwhelmed. I have used some of ABeka, Konos, Explode the Code, Miquon math, Making Math Meaningfull, and many others. The one I have love is My Fathers World. I can use this for all 4 of my boys-minus math, Language arts. I love Spelling power, and Math U See. I will stick with this until the Lord says otherwise. I can go on forever.
I got involved with a home school group even before my son was in preschool. I started asking questions, and watching moms about curriculum…etc. Find out if you can sit in on meetings to see what you are getting yourself into. The Lord with direct you!!! Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart!!!
Ask your husband if he will give you a chance to homeschool for a year or even a semester. Then he can give you an evaluation!
I hope this helped.
God bless,
Maria-home school mom of 4boys.
May 5th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Hi Amanda,
My sister-in-law referred me to Denise’s site so that I could read your thoughts. I am delighted she did and would like to share my thoughts regarding homeschooling.
I am a mother of 4 children ranging in age from 19-25 years. I was first introduced to the thought of homeschooling when my eldest daughter was 8 months old, back in 1983. I asked many of the same questions you are asking now. About 2 years later, a dear friend began feeding me books about homeschooling, which at the time were few and far between. After reading just one of them, something clicked in my spirit. I knew then I was to homeschool our children. This was especially a strange concept having come from a family of educators on both sides of my family and my husband’s.
I was pregnant with our third child at the time and began to really count the cost of what this decision would mean. I tried to figure it all out with my ideas and plans. I thought I’d homeschool each until they got to 2nd grade and then send them to school (a private Christian school, as my husband was a teacher in one at the time and we could have sent them for free). Then I would begin the next child and so on. But once I began to homeschool them, something remarkable happened. I realized that God is faithful to give us what we need, when we need it. I loved being with my children. It was awesome to have the flexibility to school them at home, at the park or in the car. I enjoyed the close relationship we had with them and they had (and still have) with each other. We knew we had the opportunity to shape and mold their minds and spirits with our values rather than someone else getting to do so. And many other benefits.
Sure there were areas where I was concerned, afraid and even thought I’d potentially mess them up academically. I had a lot of opposition from well meaning family and friends at the beginning. But that all changed and rather quickly.
I am delighted to tell you that I homeschooled all 4 of my children from K-12 grade. And I had the privilege of being the Administrator of a rather large ISP (Independent Study Program) in the Sacramento area for many years. What an adventure! If I had it to do again, I’d do it just the same. To think that someone else should get the thrill of teaching my child to read, learn to spell, (which by the way, they are all excellent), learn their math facts, etc. not on my watch! I wouldn’t exchange the memories and this incredible opportunity to train and educate my children for anything.
Amanda, there will be hard days, days you wish you never even had the children let alone think you were foolish enough to think you could educate them! There will be days when you’ll think you’ve accomplished nothing academically. But then…there will be days, when the light will go on for one of them. You’ll have opportunity to help resolve conflict with them. Watch as they serve others with willingness and longing to do so. What an amazing opportunity to actually be with them when they read the first time. When they figured out that math problem or write their first poem an so on.
And then there’s the field-trips, those glorious field-trips! Those days when you get to be with other like-minded moms who know the ups and the downs of homeschooling. When you get to bring some of what you’ve learned in a History book to life for them.
Our first daughter graduated from Sacramento State University, in 2005 and is now back in college working toward her Special Ed. Teaching Credential. Our second daughter also graduated from Sacramento State University in 2006 with her BSN and is currently a school nurse. She is planning to go back to school to get her Masters degree and teaching credential. She too wants to teach. Our son is finishing his 2nd year of college at a local Jr. College and expects to transfer to Sac. State to get his teaching credential in order that he can be a High School Physics teacher.
This month, our third daughter graduates from Sacramento State University and will have her Teaching Credential in December 2008, in elementary education. Upon creating her invitations to her graduation party, she made a comment on the top of the invite that caught my eye. “Three down, one to go!” I was taken back by that and thought it sounded a little brag-a-dousios (yes I know this is misspelled, in fact, it’s not even a word!). My daughter said, “Mom, that is for all those who thought homeschooling was a waste or would never work! I just think it lets them know it really does. How many others can say they homeschooled 4 kids from K-12th grade and so far 3 have graduated from college with the 4th not far behind? I think you should get to brag, Mom. You deserve it.” Talk about a blessing! What she said spoke to my heart.
Amanda, if you believe you have the leading of the Lord to homeschool your children and your husband will allow you to “try it out” (that’s what mine said at first too), then I say DO IT!
1. Seek continual wise counsel
2. Read lots of homeschooling books
3. Choose the mountains you will “die on” and eliminate a lot of attention off on the things of lesser importance
4. Determine what your academic, spiritual, emotional, and personal goals are for each of your children, and focus attention on them
5. Get connected with a local homeschooling group or ISP
6. Go to homeschooling conferences
7. And most importantly, keep your eyes on Jesus
I have said to many parents, “It’s a little bit about education and a whole lot about sanctification!” You are likely to learn as much as they will. Capture this opportunity and run with it. Your children will be small for such a brief time. Enjoy this season of your life and go for it!
Blessings to you in all you do.
Lisa Roome,
retired homeschooling mom and homeschool advocate
May 5th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Wow, thanks for the insight, advice and encouragement
anyone else?
May 6th, 2008 at 10:14 am
Steph, Emily, Maria and Lisa-
You gals are the best! Thank you so much for TAKING TIME and sharing your hearts, being vulnerable and open with Amanda and the other readers popping in on the blog…more will leave comments, perhaps even some home-educated kids…so stay tuned! And, each of you has been entered into our drawing for The Big May Celebration and will continue to have your name ‘dropped in’ each time you leave a comment here on my blog.
Love,
denise
May 6th, 2008 at 10:15 am
It was a struggle chosing to homeschool, but it has been worth it. I have homeschooled for about 5 years. I have a 9 yr old girl, 5 yr old boy, and 18 month old girl.
Homeschooling has challenged me in my walk with Christ, my motives, and my vision for my kids. Initally, I homeschooled out of fear of what I experienced in public school and a desire to see my daughter excel under my teaching. Fear and pride were not good motivators, just frustrators. I needed a higher vision than fear of the future and pride, and God is faithful to give us vision.
As I saw other homeschoolers raise kids who loved and served Jesus, I was inspired. Now, it is not all about having perfect little kids with unscathed pasts and bright financial futures. I want warriors in God’s kingdom. Kids who love the Lord and serve Him with all their heart and soul. I want more than well educated kids, I want God chasers. Vision is the only thing that keeps me homeschooling every year.
It is tempting send them away, so I do not have to face my impatience and perfectionist attitudes. Plus I could make more money and be financially sucessful. But I want more! My heart leaps as I look into the future and see my kids walking with God, so I chose to lay down my weekness and pride and face the ugly in me today.
Yes, homeschooling can be hard. My oldest is wiggly and spacey, always has been, but she is also creative and very social. Finding a curriculum that worked with her make up was a God-send. There are a lot of helps out there for finding this. The one that helped me the most was Cathy Duffy’s 100 top picks books and website. Also there is homeschoolreviews.com which is great because you can see what other homeschoolers had to say about curriculum they used.
About socialization, I have found, that by being involved in church, family, neighborhood, sports, 4-H, and homeschool groups, our kids are very social. They only have a few good friends, but a large network of people with which they interact. The trick is not doing too much. Also on a side note, be VERY watchful who you allow to be friends with your kids. Don’t just accept the kids your kid likes. We have one kid who attracts the naughty kids who rebell against authority and run wild, they saw them as exciting. We had to teach them who is a good friend and why.
Life is a vapor, but the impact we make in our kids lives can last for eternity! Go for it! If God is in it, you cannot mess it up. Seek God and get vision for your kids!
God Bless,
Sue Paschke
May 7th, 2008 at 8:36 am
Good Morning, Amanda!
My mom (Lisa Roome) left a post on this blog to let you know about our family’s experience with home education. I am the oldest of 4 children and as was said earlier, all of us were home educated all the way through our school years.
All 4 of us were able to graduate early from high school, which enabled us to begin our college educations sooner than our peers. In order to ensure we were not shocked in college, my sister and I began to take classes at a local junior college together before transferring to CSUS. This allowed us to have a “buddy” and also ensured that we wouldn’t be caught totally off-guard from the college experience.
Overall, I feel that being home educated was a positive experience. The only area I feel that I might have lacked was that I have had difficulties relating with typical teenagers. I think that is because I was always around adults or other very responsible children. In hindsight, I don’t even think relating with other peers is something that is necessary!
As a future public school teacher, I am very concerned about the future education I will be required to teach students. There are textbooks that teach evolution as the way the world was created and it is still just a theory, not fact! In addition, teachers will be teaching about homosexuality, stem cell research, abortions, and many other controversial topics. When you home educate your child, you are in the drivers seat as to what they will learn.
Currently the focus of schools is to teach to the “standards”. Schools receive funding based on their scores on “standardized tests”. Teachers are no longer able to teach about things that their students are interested in. They must teach out of a textbook and stay on pace with the curriculum. In order to do this, teachers have to spend many hours a day on classroom management to keep the students on track and focused. If your child is in the middle of the pack, they won’t receive the attention they need because the teacher is focusing on getting the “rambunctious” children to settle down.
In regards to your thoughts on your temperament, God will only give you what you can handle. There will be days that your kids won’t want to do their schoolwork and you will have the freedom to take them on an outing that would never happen in the 4 walls of a traditional school. Remember that some days it will be more important to build relationship with your kids than to teach the curriculum for that day.
I would strongly encourage you to seek the Lord for His direction in the education of your children. He will give you the direction you need for the season you are in. Remember, it is okay to home educate one year and then put your child in public school the next. You don’t have to make a commitment to home education for the rest of your life. Just take it one day and one year at a time.
Best of luck to you!
-Malisa Price,
Proud Home Educated Graduate
May 10th, 2008 at 8:02 am
We are what I guess you could consider “newbie” home schoolers. My daughter is 6 and we’ve been home schooling her unofficially since she was 3 (I wanted to wait - she was begging for school *shrug*) and officially for almost a year. We’re about to throw our son, who is a 5 year old lefty who thinks differently than anyone I’ve ever known, into the mix. And there’s a 6 month old - we have some time yet
BOY does my temperament get in the way! I pray daily for the Lord’s grace and mercy, and it’s exciting to see Him get His way in spite of me as well as because of me. I guess in some ways having the “T” problem is a blessing in disguise because I’m never doing it in my own strength. “They who wait upon the Lord will soar on wings like eagles…” I would miss out on that if I wasn’t forced to wait upon Him.
We’re still trying to figure out our home schooling niche, we have tried out a bunch of different groups, events, experiences. I have come across some families who absolutely amaze me with their kindness, their interactions, their love, their abilities, their maturity. But what you say is also entirely true. There are most certainly some families who would appear to be socially immature. But I have to ask the question - immature by who’s standards!? One of the things I want to give to my children is the gift of being able to be children for as long as possible. I’m not saying that I will allow them to be rude, or not teach them how to appropriately greet an adult when they are greeted, but I want them to play with cars, and play knights and dragons and princesses for as long as possible. They probably won’t be joined by the neighborhood kids who were ‘taught’ by the school bully that those things are babyish the minute they stepped through those doors.
We need to realize that although we are not apart from this world because we live in it, we are separate from it. And so the rules, guidelines, benchmarks and expectations are different. I’m still trying really hard to break out of the mold I was shoved into. It’s a mental thing.
Home schooling is exciting because you can be who you are. Your children can be who your they are. You can teach them manners and etiquette. And when they’re ready to grow up, they will.
May 10th, 2008 at 8:25 am
Ahhhh, I have a specific temperament, too. *grin* Can I tell you that home schooling can be the most wonderful experience and the most difficult decision anyone makes? It may also be the most amazing endeavor anyone embarks upon with God!
Most who aren’t sold on home schooling will tend to select socialization or academic delay as their main points of argument. To be honest, those are the very same things for which we could find fault in the public schools. As much as I loved our experience in the Christian school setting, there were similar issues there, too, aside from cost.
When we chose to home school, we had to analyze it from several different angles. Perhaps some of this will be helpful to you. I hope it is.
First and foremost, you need to be sure that this is what God is calling you to do for your children. We are all called, as parents, to lead, guide, protect, and instruct our children, but that may or may not mean home schooling. At this point, you want to be sure you are called to this choice. Obedience is always, always better than the other option. ;’) Know why you are home schooling, know you are called to it, and then begin the process. Talk to other home schooling families to see if God uses them to affirm your leanings as part of the process.
Secondly, when you have determined you are called, go forward. This has several parts to it in the process, so here are some thoughts.
Formalize your school in God’s eyes and yours. Would He have you name it? Should you have a mission statement? Will you have basic rules and guidelines for your whole family’s clarification? These may seem like hoops to jump through, but I’m convinced this provided me with an intimate understanding of what I was called to and how we would function. (We have a name, three rules, and a principal.) ;’)
As you work through the formalization process, much of that will be determined by the state you live in. That will determine what your record keeping side of the equation looks like. If you must keep records, you might try the Home School Tracker software. I am not required to keep them, but I do anyway. HST is great to keep my lesson planning on track, too. If you aren’t the type to be organized, this is the kind of thing that might feel like your worst enemy, but it can be your best friend, too.
Curriculum is one of the things that is most overwhelming. What I’ve found over the years is that I tend to choose something based on my sons’ needs, or possibly on my own prideful goals. Can I encourage you to find curriculum that suits who you are as a teacher and who your children are as students? I wish I’d done a better mix. The things that have not gone well were things chosen based on only one side of the equation. We go back to why we are home schooling, who we are as Christian parents, and who our kids are as He made them. It helps a bit in the selection. Talk to other home schoolers because there is SO MUCH curriculum out there, I believe anyone can find something that will work.
Socialization is one of the things that people pick on the most. The funny thing about that argument is that it tends to fall flat in reality. I’ve not found the kids in a school setting to be more socially fluent necessarily. Often, I’ve found they are adept with their own age groups, possibly, but they are not fluent across all ages as many home schoolers have proven themselves to be. Plus, I find that most home schoolers are part of a regularly scheduled group…or sports…or church activities…or other home schooling friends. This has shown me that my kids are getting input from others in a way that I am happy with. I don’t want my kids to be loosely unsupervised with uncensored information from peers coming in from all angles. I’m okay with knowing where my kids are and who their friends are. Am I controlling? Perhaps. I stand before God responsible for that, too. No one else does. I’m not ready to turn my kids over to someone else right now. There’s too little precious time left to pour into their foundation with Christ! :’)
I believe you could home school. With the right tools, I think most anyone can successfully do it. While every first timer has a TRANSITION year the first time (and that shouldn’t be downplayed), usually the family finds a groove and it begins to move right along ever so much better.
I can’t tell you what to do. I can tell you that, should your husband decide it is acceptable, you could certainly submit to his lead on it and find a suitable way to accomplish the goal. I would say your husband’s lead will be ever so important on this. Every school needs a principal. Didn’t we all learn something like “The principal is your PAL” when we were young? *grin*
Blessings to you as you sort this out. We’ve done this both ways (home school and Christian school). This wasn’t the easiest option, but it clearly has been the BEST!
May 10th, 2008 at 8:32 am
I love seeing how passionate we all are about our children, their education, their needs, their futures and what God has for them. I’m so grateful for the friends - close and sometimes one-time acquaintances - who walked with me on my journey of home schooling; strengthening, encouraging and reminding me of God’s ability to do what I couldn’t (and still can’t!) I so appreciate each of you taking your time to give input…In His love,
Denise
May 10th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Thanks so much , everyone, for taking time to share your experiences with me. I have truly enjoyed reading all of your comments and have already shared quite a bit with my husband. You have all given my husband and I alot to consider and to bring before God but we can see that a definite mind shift would need to take place. Thanks again!!
May 13th, 2008 at 8:04 am
I appreciate all the comments/encouragement too!! Our kids aren’t quite to the homeschooling age, but we have decided that we will homeschool them. It’s great to have others around who have been there and done it successfully…to learn from and to be encouraged by. I’m so excited to be able to teach my children at home in the ways of the Lord!
May 13th, 2008 at 11:56 am
We are going to embark on the homeschooling journey in the fall with our almost 7 year old daughter. It is funny because I was a teacher before kids, and am a certified school librarian. My husband is a principal and just finished his PhD in Educational leadership with a superintendent’s certificate! Go figure!!! I forsee eventually homeschooling all 3 of my kids, all the way through. I found all these postings very helpful!
(Denise, we knew you at PICC; in fact, I housesat/babysat your 5 boys for several days when you went to a conference–Heather Johanson) I find your blog excellent! Thanks!
Heather Penning
May 15th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Amanda -
I’m thrilled you’ve asked this question on this particular forum because these answers have been amazing!
I have little to add but confirmations, but I’m bad at remaining silent…. (lol)
After God made it clear to us that we were to teach our children at home (He’s good at confirming what He puts in your heart and mind), we began simply out of obedience. Our homeschool journey started with the first time we read to our first daughter, and it naturally progressed from there.
We never tried to re-create “school” at home - we just did what worked for us. Our schedules, pace and subjects were up to us (as long as we were covering the basics). We gleaned ideas from other homeschooling families, but early on gave up thinking we had to “do it all” or be a carbon copy of some other family’s school. Instead of thinking we needed to be a certain temperament for this, we created the school that fit us. [We also checked our progress by finding the area SAT-type tests, where the girls always tested years beyond their grade levels.] There is a tremendous freedom in homeschooling, but with that also comes responsibility. Neither should be taken too lightly.
Don’t neglect the MANY resources available to the homeschooling communities. And I’m not even talking about the huge variety of curriculum at your disposal. In my area the YMCA offers PE, there are a variety of Co-ops to join, Homeschool bands, choirs, debate teams and sports teams — many more things than we had time for. Once you start looking around I think you’ll be surprised how socially connected and academically supported you can be.
And speaking of that ‘S’ word (socialization)…..when I read your original post about your husband’s concern, my first thought was that some people say “socialization” but actually mean “one-who-appears-to-fit-the-public-school-mold” in regards to attitude and appearance. Personally, we were hoping to avoid that mold with our daughters. We wanted them to be confident, Godly young women capable of interacting appropriately with all ages in all situations. I can’t say that’s the same standard the public school system is attempting to meet! We have (with God’s guidance and strength) been blessed to raise young women who have always garnered praise from others regarding their maturity, intelligence and manners. Our girls do not look nor act like overly-sheltered bumpkins. Thankfully they do not dress like hookers, swear like sailors nor sleep around like the public school teenagers tend to, either. You will find that there are many opportunities to plug your student(s) into social situations while homeschooling. The up side is that YOU get to pick and choose them when you’re the school principal.
More than anything, I want to encourage you to RELAX about this decision. If God is asking you to do this, He will enable you to be successful in the undertaking. Also, please don’t stress out thinking you have to have it all figured out before you embark! Your homeschooling journey will be different than others’ - it will be tailored to you and your students - and you’ll figure it out as you go. You’ll find what works and what doesn’t, and adjust things many times along the way.
Having said all this, I’m not implying you *should* or *must* homeschool your children. It is NOT for everyone. For some families it’s just not a good fit. For others, it works out that it’s best just for a time. Be obedient to what you and your husband think God is calling you to do and go there confidently and in peace, trusting Him.
All in all, I think you’ll be amazed at what God can do.
God’s richest blessings to you and yours,
Karen Slusher
Soon-to-be-retired Homeschooling mother to two amazing teenage daughters (one in Running Start and one to enter a School of the Arts in the Fall….so I’m almost done!!)