J. Michael Smith, President of the Home School Legal Defense Association (www.hslda.org), interviewed me recently on the topic of ‘Raising Extraordinary Boys’, and it’s airing this week (Mon-Fri, March 10-14) on Home School Heartbeat, a daily radio program aired on over 600 affiliates nationwide and produced by HSLDA.

Click on www.homeschoolheartbeat.com (or cut and paste to your browser) and you will find station listings and an opportunity to hear the interview online.

Today is Saturday in the U.S.A. and you’ll find many, many, many Moms and Dads frantically carting kids from soccer, to baseball to birthday party #1 for him and birthday party #2 for her, to the obligatory school fund raiser, through the drive-thru for some quick deep fried something with syrup over ice to wash it down, back to the house to pick up what you forgot and off again….THE RACE IS ON for lots of us.

I LOVE WEEKENDS WITH LEISURELY AWAKENINGS AND

THE FREEDOM TO BE SPONTANEOUS

don’t you?

Doesn’t that sound glorious?  Just imagine…coffee pot on…kids sleeping in…a BIG BLANK TO FILL IN any way you (and hubby) choose.  Sitting at the window, sipping, eating your sprouted whole grain toast with raw almond butter and honey with a sweet and delicious winter grapefruit while you ponder the hummingbird/robin/swallow/eagle/sparrow (depending on your region and the season) flittering about outside…kids wake and pick on the guitar, then pull out the Legos…run around in jammies til noon….pure and simple BLISS.

I don’t live in a fantasy, and every Saturday can’t always be unplanned and wide open, but lots of them certainly can, at least for LARGE PORTIONS of the day if we make strategic choices…

Perhaps it’s time to make some adjustments to all the commitments/obligations/pressures we’ve gotten ourselves into……

As the week winds down, my fridge is usually filled with odds and ends, bits and pieces and the makings for all sorts of tasty tidbits.  I am also ready for a break and really don’t want to decide ‘what to make for dinner’.  This little exercise will test your kids’ creativity and maturity, and they better pass the test or they’ll go hungry!  If you take inventory and can honestly say that any intelligent human being can create something relatively nutritious from the ingredients your cupboards and refrigerator/freezer contain…then proclaim it an “Every Man For Himself Dinner Night”.

A FEW TIPS FOR SUCCESS: 

• Scribble a list of what you see that can be created from what you have on hand.
• Give a specific older child responsibility to prepare something for a specific younger sibling (never assume :).)
• Give everyone a time limit and nutritional boundaries, ie., fruit roll-ups are off-limits and popcorn or French bread with butter does not qualify as a meal (at least make a fruit smoothie and a peanut butter sandwich on wheat bread to go with the popcorn), and, the meal will be eaten and cleaned up by 7 p.m. or you don’t eat.  (otherwise they’ll put if off because they’ll get lazy and be hungry at 9:30!)
• Each child is responsible to clean up the details of their own preparation and meal mess.
• Assign each older, capable child a final task such as sweeping kitchen, cleaning surfaces, scrubbing sink….so you can walk into a ‘clean as a whistle’ kitchen later.
• DO prepare something for hubby because he’s your man and you love him and want to serve him and he worked hard all day, too!  Unless of course he offers to take you out, then - whoo-hoo - it’s party time!  Or perhaps a really good-cook-of-a-child would serve Pops well, then by all means, ‘assign’ Daddy’s meal to that kid!
• DISAPPEAR…to your room, to the patio, or to the yard to read, to write a letter or to make a phone call to a friend for a nice catch-up-chat.
• THEN….when ‘time’s up’:
• Interview the brood and find out what they prepared for themselves and their younger siblings.  Admonish the brutes who starved the little ones and bless those who who took the charge seriously and did their best, even if it wasn’t your best.
• Check the chores to make sure they were done.

BUT DENISE….

Perhaps you’d say, “Doesn’t sound like much of a ‘Vacation’ to me.”  But I’d say, “if you train ‘em right once, you’ll have bought yourself many more pleasant ‘Every Man For Himself Dinner Nights’  to come in the future!”

*This is a Mini-Vacation with lots of bang for your buck:  A fair amount of emotional investment ONE TIME ONLY; after that, they’ll be a breeze!

I’m determined to chat with my kids.  It takes an effort when we’re all pretty high-energy, easily distracted by life and stimulated by our surroundings - but I can’t bear to simply be ’ships passing in the night’ 24/7, which can easily happen in our chaotic culture. I wanna talk.  If I want them to talk, then I have to ask them something pertaining to what they like to talk about.

Mom:  “What is your absolute number one favorite meal?”

Seth: (without batting an eye)  “Garlic mashed potatoes with fresh Brussels sprouts and green beans cooked with a little bacon and New York steak marinated and grilled to perfection, a little red in the middle.”

Other questions:

• “What was the highlight of your day?”
• “What’s your dream job?”
• “What’s your favorite sport to watch?  Play?”
• “Tell me about a person you love to hang with.”

Setting….

Where do you get a conversation going?  Sometimes you gotta get them alone, or at least next to you, getting their attention, to get them to talk.  Even when it’s difficult.  Let’s say they’re feeling like ‘hermit-ing” which you are not willing to allow them to do regularly.  Some teens would prefer this habit and some personalities could live in an 8 X 5 foot room, curtains drawn, for a lifetime, I’m convinced!  If their bent is to be alone, then it’s time for an ‘intervention’. 

Mom:  “Jack, come to the kitchen and help me cook dinner.”

Jack:  (grumbling, huffing, puffing, groaning) “Aw, maaa…I wanna read my new book (which he already read 4 times this month).”

Mom:  “Be down here in 60 seconds or I’ll starve ya.”

Jack:  (visibly distraught, long-faced and dragging his feet, he pops into the room).

Mom:  “OK, you chop the tomatoes, tiny please and then grate this block of cheese.  I’ll get your brother to clean the cilantro and crack the eggs.  When that’s done, I’ll tell you what’s next.”

What I find is that while we’re working away in the kitchen, Jack is trapped and he forgets he’s ‘miserable’ and pretty soon, a somewhat tense moment turns into laughter, discussion, dreaming together and forming our godly worldview through all sorts of verbal exchanges.  Some of our happiest and most meaningful moments have been around one of my salsa-making schemes, a smoothie-making moment, pancake prep, or during the pre-barbecue preparations on Friday afternoon.  I love to get my boys in the kitchen: slicing, dicing, chopping, frying, shaking, measuring and creating something really tasty to eat while I get inside their minds and hearts.  Not only will you ‘find’ one another, you’ll cut your work time in at least half by engaging the help of your youngsters.

Let’s remember to STOP and CONNECT with these precious ones we care so much about.

So, your husband isn’t all you dreamed of, and come to think of it, he’s a real disappointment at the moment…the kids aren’t ‘responding well’ (to put it lightly) to the standards you’re trying to implement; in actual fact it seems that conflict abounds…the bank account is nothing short of lame, and you quit your job to be busy at home…you have been busy gaining 5 pounds even though you’re trying hard to eat right…the neighbors you’re trying to evangelize just aren’t ‘getting it’…where’s the beef, Lord????  You feel like giving up, or at least giving in…

“Be patient then brothers, until the Lord’s coming.  See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains.  You, too, be patient and stand firm, because THE LORD’S COMING IS NEAR!” (James 5:7-8)

Even in a ‘lull’ when nothing seems to be as you would like it to be…

GOD IS AT WORK BEHIND THE SCENES!

He is working on something valuable; something worth waiting for.

The farmer can’t see the seed growing under the dirt.  He can’t see the rain that will surely be coming from heaven -  YET.  He can walk around the field every single day, stomping his foot and grumbling, wishing to see the little green plants pushing up through the soil, but his fruitless activity won’t speed things up.  If he believes his eyes, then all his labor has been in vain and he has nothing to look forward to.  BUT A FARMER KNOWS BETTER.  He is convinced of what’s going on under the surface of things.  He sees beyond the natural and is aware of the organic life of God bubbling beneath the top layer of dirt.  He knows he will reap precisely what he has sown, if he continues doing the right stuff.  All in good time with some nurture, some water, some fertilizer and a whole lot of patience…he’s gonna get far more than what he planted.

Keep sowing, keep praying, keep believing, keep hoping, keep standing firm on the promises of God’s Word as they apply to your situation, because THE LORD’S COMING IS NEAR!

How many times do our kids come to us and say, “Mom, I need a button sewed on!”…or, “Mom, the seam in my pants split!”…etc., etc.  Well, just to let you know, our boys sew on their own buttons and repair their own seams by hand and you only have to teach them ‘how-to’ once and after that - they’re on their own and you have equipped them with a very valuable life skill.  I’ve had 16 year-old girl babysitters who couldn’t sew a button on.  Will they hire this work done for themselves when you’re no longer there to do it for them?  Hmm.  Here you see Levi Aaron, working away.  I think he kind of enjoys it now!

WHAT WE’RE WATCHING AT OUR HOUSE  This is the latest offering directed and produced by the brilliant, creative, historian-reporter Ken Burns and his associate, Lynn Novick.  Runs about $70.00 at Costco and is one powerful investment - I mean investment.  Every American should have to see this, but most will want to see this dvd series.  Loaded with first-person interviews, real footage, photos and all the rest of what Ken Burns ‘magically’ pulls out of his hat…my kids (ages 13 and 15-NOTE: there is some graphic war footage) were on the edge of their seats watching this true story unfold.  Ken Burns doesn’t ‘rewrite’ history, but creatively brings it to life on the screen.  I highly, like 5 star, recommend this for everyone mature enough to handle it.  Take it with you on vacation - we did - far more valuable than ‘just another movie’ and your kids won’t have a clue that you’re helping them form a right and Godly worldview.

  Celebrating 27 years at Bodega Bay with Gregory, the love of my life. (technical difficulties on yesterday’s post, so here’s the photo I referred to.)

BLONDE WARNING:  This little catching-you-up-diary makes the most sense if you scroll down to FEBRUARY 1 and read bottom to top, which brings you to today!  I KNOW…all my organized, techie friends out there are shaking their heads and groaning right now.  Sorry!

FEBRUARY 13

Back to the airport to pick up our friend, Matt, from Seattle who’s visiting for the next 2 weeks.  I took a wrong turn while chatting it up with my kids and their buddy and……almost ended up L.O.S.T…thank God for cell phones!  P.S.  Daddy is feeling better every day, but what a tough bug this flu is!

FEBRUARY 11-12

Back to the homefront where Daddy has been holding the fort, (well, actually more like ‘running a tight ship’) as he is one amazing leader and like I always say, “he can run this house with his eyes closed better than I could any day”.  The gift of administration goes a long way at home and I learn from him every single day.  Sidenote: This is a

great example of how he operates.  See Exhibit A above.  I returned home from errands one Saturday afternoon and my son had a friend over.  They were at opposite ends of the dining room table, playing ‘football’ with these little paper doo-dads they’d created because Daddy had said, “No electronics”.  They were having a blast, pulling this game of paper football out of ancient history (I remember my brothers playing this 40 years ago!)

Okay, back to my post-Boise trip: My homecoming meal was rosemary-lemon chicken breasts by Seth Daniel, Mashed potatoes, Corn-on-the-cob and lots of love!  But, unfortunately, Daddy has come down with the bad flu - so I simmered a big, fat, free-range chicken, chopped a pile of vegies and the house smelled almost heavenly as a big pot of homemade soup sat bubbling on the stove.  Exactly the medicine he was needing. 

FEBRUARY 8-11

Out the door at 4:30 am…Didn’t get lost going to the airport, but did park in the wrong lot (oh, well.  I’m blonde and some days - all the way to the roots.  Come to think of it, I hadn’t had my coffee yet.)  Boise, here we come!  Church of the Harvest (these guys are serious about evangelism and discipleship!), where Mark and Dee Dee Bryan lead, really came out to meet us.  My second-born, Benjamin, met me there, which was the icing on the cake since he now lives 12 hours north of me, in Seattle, WA. (here’s Ben chatting with Mark Bryan after the Parenting Seminar Friday night).

The Friday-Saturday Parenting Seminar was nothing short of an absolute blast - an audience of hungry hearts, ready for anything…and the two morning meetings on Sunday were wrapped in God’s grace.  The photo below perfectly sums up my long weekend in Boise-an absolute BLAST!

I luuuuvvv the local church!!!  I love seeing parents passionate about their kids’ destinies!  I love watching God work!  And I must say, I fell in love with Boise, a place I’d never had the pleasure of visiting.  Get this, Boise is crowned:

• #1 Most secure places to live with 500,00 or more residents by Farmers Insurance 2006
• #8 Best places to live by Money Magazine 2006
• #3 Best places for business and careers by Forbes Magazine 2007
• #9 Hottest cities for entrepreneurs by Inc.com 2007
• #6 Urban environment report card by Earth Day Network 2007

• Not to mention, beautiful, charming and surrounded by snow-covered mountains the weekend we were there - Boise rocks!

FEBRUARY 6-7

…catching up on laundry, home-cooked food and lovin’ my boys.  Then it was ‘unpack, pack and prepare’ for a big weekend comin’ up.  You can see my fashion prowess above as I work in the kitchen in my latest eclectic loungewear set (bottoms by Cosctco/top by Goodwill :)  Yep, this is how my dining room looks just before I come talk to you (see below).  I clean it all up before I leave for the airport, though, I promise.

FEBRUARY 2-5

After taking a wrong turn and going 40 minutes out of my way to the airport - how do these things happen to me when I’ve been to that airport more times than I can recall? - I took off for Hobbs, New Mexico, to speak to folks about the dynamic potential of their amazing children at Cowboy Junction Church where Ty and Heather Bean lead.

  It was a planes, trains and automobiles day as I departed Sacramento, landed in Phoenix, once more to Albuquerque and finally to Lubbock, Texas - careful on the loop -  one more wrong turn!  Then my friend Cindy and I drove the last 2 hours to Hobbs - the oil capital of New Mexico and home to lots of gifted rodeo professionals.  Well, let me tell you, it was worth every mile and minute it took to get there.  We were overwhelmed by the warm Southwest welcome, hospitality (great Superbowl party Sunday night!) and generosity, but especially by the hungry hearts of men, women and children, longing for all God has for them.  CJ all the way!

Well, February 1st was my birthday and my fabulous 50s smoking-hot friend Kathy and I went shopping because I do not shop, do not like to shop, cannot figure out the ‘fashion thing’ (see eclectic loungewear above) and do not have the time or energy to do so.  Well, she is extremely gifted in all these areas.  It seems that if I’m supposed to go talk to people about kids, especially people I have never met -  my clothes have got to match.  So she bravely ventured out with me for a few hours and helped me get  coordinated, God bless her.  Shopping with me is nothing short of hard labor!

Here’s Kathy  with her hubby and best friend forever, Rick, in San Francisco recently.

Today is Sunday.  Here in the U.S., where winter rages and mornings can be as dark as evening, many will wake themselves earlier than they wish to, make a beeline to the kitchen where the coffee pot beckons, then roll their groggy, hibernating kids from warm, fluffy down comforters…to drive to a building they call ‘the church’.*   It would seem, at times, easier not to make the effort.  But they do.  In droves.  Others across the ocean where summer sings and sunshine, SCREAMing through the window, serves as the alarm clock, join along in the mad rush to ‘make it to the church on time!’ 

It’s the right thing to do. 

I am absolutely, unequivocally, yes, even fiercely, committed to the local church.  Always have been; always will be.  God’s brilliant idea and perfect inspiration.  At best, His body, His bride, His people, joined together today as a spiritual family at venues across the earth.  A practical gathering, experiencing a holy moment.  Yet, paradoxically, an imperfect expression (divinely perfect yet humanly flawed), seemingly flocked by transients since its inception, and at times exhausting;  YET AGAIN, the constant, living organism of God!  I believe, the most powerful ‘organization’ (for lack of a better word) on the planet.  The most important institution (for lack of a better word) in the earth.  The beacon of hope in society, yet filled with fragile, broken people, endeavoring to become all they can be for Him.   A sure investment, the most worthy appointment of your week, next to spending time alone with Jesus Christ…the beloved local church.  My friends, my family, my ‘club’, my hobby, my work, my play, my comfort, my joy and my pain at times; my obsession…the local church.  Believe in her, love her, serve her, protect her, defend her, support her and teach your children, by example, to do the same.  It’s gonna be worth it all.

*I Peter 2:5 you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood…Acts 17:24 The God who made the world and everything in it…does not live in temples built by hands

…was actually in session yesterday.  First it was Dad, then Levi and now, Mom’s sick.  That’s about all you need to know and the rest is pretty clear.  Progress halts.   What’s there to eat?  Laundry?  Groceries?  Time-Out.  Push pause and make yourself a frozen burrito (if you can find one!).   Seth has excelled in Home-Economics for the last two days.  Cleaning, slicing, delivering, sweeping, dicing, dishes.  He’s our champion.  Upon further investigation, it appears that lots of our dear friends are experiencing the same bleak (thankfully, temporary) circumstances during this rainy, cold season.  We love you all and are praying you’re well soon!